10 things I hate about you

How can you be grateful for the things that you hate? Something that I’ve been trying out just over the last week or so and the results I’ve seen in my life have convinced me already that this is something that i should be doing on a daily basis.


  • I have started with the people that I love. However you could also use:

  • Bosses,

  • Colleagues,

  • People you manage,

  • People from your distant past,

  • Old situations that have been significantly upsetting etc.

Behaviours, sayings, turns of phrase, things that they do, things that they don’t do, things they have done in the past. I’m trying to be picky, start with what’s pissing me off most about them right now (or recently)


After this bit maybe you feel a bit glum about that person/people however, we’re about to make these problems get a lot smaller though - it’s exciting.


What are you getting out of it?


Pick one or two of the behaviours and aim to write between 5 and 10 ways in which that behaviour actually benefits you.


One that I've used in the last few days..... My daughters shout and scream a lot which makes me upset, angry, frustrated, distracted, pee’d off. But what do i get out of it?

  1. I get to be angry

  2. I get to practice patience

  3. I get to learn how to influence behaviour

  4. I get to ask them questions about their behaviour

  5. I get to teach them

  6. They will learn to be more independent

  7. I will gain freedom

  8. I will eventually experience more peace in the house

  9. I get to help them

  10. I get to “rescue” one of them from the other

  11. I get to play games and be silly

  12. I get fodder for writing blogs/emails/social media posts

  13. Gives me an excuse to walk away and have 2 minutes to myself



The crazy thing is, whenever I do this, the behaviour of the people that I’m focusing on changes.

I'm not sure if they are actually changing - maybe they are - but my perception of how they are behaving changes so that I don’t get so pissed off, angry and annoyed about it.


What benefits to you get from crappy situations in your life? Join my community of Mums who want better things in their life by sending me an email to: info@retrainpain.co.uk

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